One thing that I struggled with throughout was the pursuit of pleasing other people. It is a tricky thing to pursue. I found myself from the first night taking a boatload of criticism and basically playing catch up from there. Quickly my mindset became about how do I satisfy the people in charge and do a good enough job to not get yelled at.
It certainly didn't help that my direct oversight was incredibly demeaning and almost always discouraging. There's a certain culture that I've associated Hillsong with. They promote encouragement, they build you up, they treat you in a way that shows love and care. But this person was opposite of that.
But you know what? I really believe this was good for me to go through. In ministry and in dealing with other people they are not always going to be pleasant and are not always going to agree with you. And when I meet resistance I need to be completely confident in myself (and my beliefs) and in the position that God has placed me in. Otherwise if I just concentrate on pleasing others than I'll be easily swayed by everyone around me (whether their intentions are good or not). What happens when a person who is at a crisis of faith moment needs someone to ask the hard questions? If I'm so easily swayed then when the questions get hard I'll probably back off. Our friends need us to be strong in our beliefs. You know what they say,
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything

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